How to Be a Winner at Work - Even When You Don’t Come First

Apr 16
3 min read

What does winning really look like at work?

It’s a question I’ve been thinking about a lot this month.

I’ve been shortlisted as a Coach of the Year Finalist at the British HR Awards,

and I’ll find out whether I’ve won at the Awards Ceremony on 22 April.

Naturally, I’d be delighted to win. But being nominated and the encouragement, recognition and support of the people who will be there with me on the day already make me feel as if I have.

It has also made me reflect on the kind of winning that really matters.

A new definition of success

In her book The Long Win, Dr Cath Bishop challenges the win-at-all-costs mindset that so often dominates professional life. Her work encourages us to think beyond narrow definitions of success and to embrace a more constructive, sustainable and human approach. Rather than always treating success as a contest, we can think about how to build cultures that value collaboration as much as challenge.

That is a powerful idea for organisations.

Because at work, there will always be moments when one person gets the opportunity, the recognition or the prize, and another does not. A promotion goes to someone else. A proposal is chosen over yours. A colleague wins an award. A team other than yours is praised publicly.

Those are the moments that reveal a great deal about culture and character.

How the Make Your Mark framework helps

Amongst other things, my Make Your Mark framework helps people respond to success - both their own and other people’s - in ways that build credibility, strengthen relationships and support collaboration. It does this through four interconnected pillars.

1. A winner’s mindset

This starts with redefining what success means. Instead of obsessing over what you have “won”, focus on what you have done. Did you prepare thoroughly? Contribute well? Support others? Learn something useful? Add value? A winner’s mindset helps people feel proud of their effort, growth and impact, not just outcomes.

2. Winning body language

When you don’t get the result you wanted, your body language can either undermine you or elevate you. Open posture, warm eye contact and a genuine Duchenne Smile communicate confidence and generosity. They show that you can handle disappointment without losing your professionalism.

3. Winning speech

What you say matters. When congratulating the winner, aim for language that is positive, proportionate and professional. Not gushy. Not performative. Just clear and sincere: “Congratulations - thoroughly deserved,” or, “I’m thrilled for you,” builds connection and trust.

4. A winning voice

Tone is often the giveaway. A warm, sincere voice can turn a simple congratulation into a memorable moment. And, as ever, tone expresses what you’re thinking. If you are genuinely focused on celebration rather than comparison, your voice will sound gracious and authentic.

A real-life example of how to be a winner at work

Earlier in my corporate career, the company I worked for was taken over by another business. As Marketing Director, I had to compete for the top marketing role in the newly combined organisation against my counterpart from the acquiring company.

I didn’t get the job.

Instead, I gained something that mattered more to me: respect. Respect for how I conducted myself during the process, and for how I behaved afterwards.

That did not change the decision, but it did shape what people remembered. It preserved relationships, strengthened my professional reputation and left me with something more lasting than a title: self-respect.

Respect has a cadence. A rhythm. A sound. And it means more to me than winning.

Why this matters in organisations

In many workplaces, we spend a lot of time teaching people how to be a winner at work, how to strive, perform and achieve. We spend much less time teaching them how to respond when someone else succeeds. But that is a crucial skill, especially in collaborative environments.

Dr Cath Bishop’s work is such a useful prompt here. If we want healthier, stronger and more sustainable workplaces, we need to expand our definition of winning. We need people who can pursue excellence without making every moment a contest. People who can celebrate others without feeling smaller themselves. People who know that success is not only about standing out, but also about how they show up.

That is the shift from challenging to collaborating.

And it is exactly the kind of shift that Make Your Mark is designed to support.

Learn more about Make Your Mark

If you are interested in learning more about Make Your Mark and how you can apply the framework and toolkit in your organisation, please get in touch.