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The Prince’s Trust has tracked the well-being of young people for over a decade. Last month the charity recorded the highest anxiety levels ever, in those aged between 16-25 years, fuelling further fears that ‘young people are losing all hope for their future’. Their report coincided with the Make Your Mark Winter School I ran pro-bono for students, offering them the time, space and practical tools coaching makes available. Tools proven to help reduce anxiety, promote resilience, and improve mental health. What’s clear from the near-on 100 students I’ve now coached from universities and colleges across the country, is that the essential soft skills that coaching develops, the ones so desperately needed in business, are missing in the academic arena and, in this unprecedented climate, that’s impacting their career prospects and their mental health. “What I learned from Susan’s Winter School was a lot different to what they teach at university and school. We’ve never looked at things like mindset or body language and how these things impact you and your speech. All these nuggets Susan shares are really going to help me. I think there’s a lot of young people out there that will benefit from this programme.” So says Karissa Shah who is in her final year at Kings College, London, studying a BA in the Political Economy. She is not alone in holding this view. I’ve developed and am delivering these student schools to lend a helping hand to our young people - our leaders of the future – to enable them to explore how they think, how they look, what they say and how they say it. Their response has been phenomenal. But I haven’t run these schools alone, I’ve done so with the support of my corporate clients and that support reassures me that business is not, as the alarming headlines suggest, ready to write off this “COVID generation”. I’ll be running another virtual school, again pro bono, this summer for up to 100 students and will again be inviting my clients to lend their support. So, if you didn’t get involved this time and want to understand what it is all about, then please keep reading. For here I share the programme’s benefits and why young participants are finding these schools so special in some of their words, rather than mine… “Coronavirus has hit home more since I did Susan’s programme last summer,” says Heriot-Watt final year Chemical Engineering student Emily Mason, who is also a Make Your Mark ambassador. “It was early days when I did this programme – we were still unsure what impact the pandemic would have on us. I couldn’t believe how much anxiety I was hearing from Winter School students just six months on. Anxiety about their career prospects, the scarcity and competitiveness of jobs and internships. But these schools create as safe space for students. One module is all about mindset and I was impressed by how much students were engaging and sharing their personal experiences.” “I was really self-critical,” says Emma Boyle, Winter School participant who is studying International Business Management at Heriot-Watt University and has just become a Make Your Mark Ambassador. “I think I knew that before attending this programme, I thought I had quite low confidence, but I never actively looked or knew how to fix it. Susan gave us 10-15 ways that we could try to tackle this inner critic. I’ve used one of them a lot. It’s really helped me.” “This pandemic has impacted student mental health adversely. When you hear that constant negative voice in your head, you can and must manage it because if you don’t, you’re not taking into consideration the consequences that it’s having on you. It’s really impacting everything – how you look, how you speak, how you act,” that’s Lewis Traill, Winter School participant and newly appointed Make Your Mark Ambassador, who is studying Mechanical Engineering and is a Project Director for the Engineering Society at the University of Edinburgh. “The person who nominated me for Winter School told me: ‘This will be a life changing career moment for you,’ and it certainly was. Each session offered everyone something we could take away. Being able to give so many different people something they want, something they need, something they’d enjoy – I’d say that’s exceptional.” Salman-Ur Rehman is in his final year at Heriot-Watt University studying Chemical Engineering, and has also become a programme Ambassador. Kirsty Mitchell, another Make Your Mark ambassador facilitating many breakout rooms for Winter School says: “In the last session I asked what students found most impactful. They all had different answers, but they loved learning about unhelpful speech habits. I think that was so useful because everyone does these things without realising. People were sharing the immediate results they were getting from that session – like the girl who told me she’d been in an interview and could hear Susan’s voice in her mind. She’d left that interview so pleased with her performance.” “These techniques Susan shares help you in interviews, but I’ve been finding them incredibly useful even when writing my job applications. For example, when asked, ‘why do you think you’d be a good fit for the job’ it’s quite difficult to try and tell a company you’re right for them without sounding arrogant. Then, when you try not to sound arrogant, you can come across as less confident. When you’re doing job applications it’s an important skill and I’ve been finding Susan’s tips from Winter School really useful.” This is the experience of Emily Fielder who will be finishing her Master’s in Global Social and Political Thought at St Andrews University in September. Ifeanyi Felukwu is my programme’s youngest participant to date. He’s in year 12 (age 16) studying a sports BTEC at the Bulwell Academy in Nottingham. “In Zoom and Teams meetings I’m able to speak more clearly now. I find myself thinking about my positioning and posture because these things give you an aura, so others better feel your presence. Your positioning doesn’t just impact how you look, it impacts everything – it even helps you speak more clearly.” “At my age, without this programme, I would never have realised what I discovered through this experience. Going through this content – it’s just brilliant. I got so much out of it that I’m so thankful for. Now I’m becoming a Make Your Mark ambassador because I want to share my experiences. There is such a need and demand for young people to find and unlock their actual potential. This programme can change someone’s life.” Lauren Johnston will complete her Master’s in Business Strategy, Leadership and Change this September from Heriot-Watt University. And, as we’re talking about programme ambassadors, I’d particularly like to thank Emily Mason, Kirsty Mitchell, Beth Thom and Naomi Oamen, for giving up their Sunday evenings in the holidays to help me run this Winter School – paying forward their experiences to now benefit others. A huge thank you also to Denise Shillito, who supported participants by sharing her insights as an HR business leader. There’s a separate article coming soon about Denise’s experiences of the programme and why she was so eager to get involved. But for now, let me leave you with this concluding comment from Flora Gillies, a recent graduate who studied Animal Biology at Napier University. “Learning that Susan usually coaches senior executives is great because it helps you realise; they face similar difficulties to what we’re experiencing as young people. That those advanced in their careers sometimes need help to speak well and be confident. Somehow, I found that reassuring.” And that’s really what these Make Your Mark with Susan Room® student schools are all about – helping our young people bridge from the world of study to the world of work. Giving them those non-technical skills that are critical to sustained success. And, helping them see its these soft skills that unite professionals - regardless of whether you are leaping onto the first rung of your career or leaping off its top one to smash the glass ceiling. So, from me and all the Make Your Mark Winter School participants, thanks to everyone who lent their fantastic support.

If you are anything like me, 2021 couldn’t get here fast enough. Who doesn’t want the year of lockdown behind them? But the thing about last year is it was bursting at the seams with ‘unprecedented’ events – and that offers some useful learning. So, as we head into what I hope will be a much healthier and happier new year for everyone, I wanted to reflect on several ‘unprecedented’ events from last year and what they might teach us about leadership, voice, and presence for the year ahead. What happened in 2020? 1. THE PRIME MINISTER AND THE QUEEN The Prime Minister gave a live broadcast locking down the UK. 27m people tuned in – it became a ‘most watched’ in British history. A week later the PM disappeared from public view – hospitalised with coronavirus. Six days later the Queen gave her first ever Easter message. What Her Majesty can teach us about leadership, voice and presence In times of crisis and change people want visible leadership. No matter how dire the circumstance or what is unknown – people need to see and hear from their leaders. The Queen stepped up, bridging the communications gap. She used her Easter Saturday message to reassure and unite - addressing those “of every culture, all faiths and of none”. She used the lighting of (Easter) candles to symbolise: “Light overcoming darkness”. Powerful imagery to inspire hope at an uncertain time. What happened in 2020? 2. CAPTAIN TOM A month before he turned 100, Tom Moore set himself a goal. He wanted to raise £1,000 for ‘NHS Charities Together’. His plan: to walk 100 laps of his garden – 1.6 miles. By the end of the year he: · Raised more than £32m · Was knighted · Saw his birthday honoured with an RAF flypast, and · Became the oldest cover star for British GQ magazine. What Captain Tom can teach us about leadership, voice and presence The smallest steps can lead to the biggest achievements – you just need to find the courage to take them. You need not start with a big audience to make your mark. Your age makes no difference to the power of your voice. In his 100th year Captain Tom addressed and inspired a nation... What happened in 2020? 3. DOMINIC CUMMINGS “I don’t regret what I did.” That’s what the PM’s closest advisor, Dominic Cummings, said. He was giving a press conference about flouting lockdown rules. National rules he’d help put in place. The PM came under fire for failing to call for his resignation. But the reprieve didn’t last long. Less than 6-months later, after continued infighting, Cummings left. What this tells us about leadership, voice and presence Walking the talk is more important than talking the talk. How you think impacts your words and body language. What you say and how you say it matter. Cummings didn't look confident from the interview’s outset. He read at length from a script, barely looking at his audience. When the crunch question came - about whether he was sorry – Cummings’ body language screamed disinterest. It mirrored his words: ‘I don't regret what I did’. Watch Dominic Cummings’ full press conference (below) especially, at the 15-minute marker, his body language as he responds to ITV’s key question as to whether he’s sorry for what he did. What happened in 2020? 4. MARCUS RASHFORD As the school holidays approached, Marcus Rashford was obsessed. Not about professional football, but food… or rather a lack of it. Rashford spoke about his struggles with food poverty growing up - to lobby government for free school meals, so thousands of children wouldn’t go hungry over the holidays. A campaign he won - with the Prime Minister personally phoning Rashford with the news. What Marcus Rashford can teach us about leadership, voice and presence You can broaden your expertise and what you are known for. Anyone can do this – it is not the preserve of celebrity. A lone voice can make a connection and a difference – more than a million people signed Rashford’s petition. Lived experiences: · Are a great way to broaden what you are known for · Enable you to speak authentically from the heart · Connect you with those you might not otherwise meet. You can see one of Marcus Rashford’s brilliant first interviews about his campaign here: Marcus Rashford speaks of experience with childhood poverty in bid for free school meals – video | Football | The Guardian What happened in 2020? 5. DAVID ATTENBOROUGH At 94 years young David Attenborough joined Instagram. His purpose: To warn us ‘the world is in trouble’. In just four hours Sir David broke a world record, becoming the fastest to reach a million Instagram followers. Just two months later Sir David stopped posting. His account is still live to host his closing message and now has 6.2M followers. What Sir David can teach us about leadership, voice, and presence Doing something unexpected can grab people’s attention. Where and when you choose to speak matters. Showing up outside your ‘usual’ environment extends your network. In a noisy world knowing when to stop speaking is a critical skill. Sir David’s closing message is powerful given its just 1m26s. It’s a short, hopeful message in which we learn: · Climate change means our world is in trouble. · Sir David has passed on the things he wanted to share. · This isn’t his story, it’s everyone’s, so it’s time for him to be quiet. · The world’s next chapter remains unwritten. · And there’s still time for us to determine how that story ends. You can watch Sir David’s strong, succinct closing message in this article: David Attenborough is leaving Instagram - i-D (vice.com) What happened in 2020? 6. PFIZER CEO, ALBERT BOURLA Pfizer CEO, Albert Bourla, had game-changing information. A COVID-19 vaccine with results indicating 90% efficacy. But Bourla also had a critical decision to make - when to speak. The trial results he had were from partial, unpublished, data – yet to be peer reviewed. Bourla decided to go public. The news saw Pfizer’s share price jump 7.7%, and global stock markets hit record highs. What this can tell us about leadership, voice, and presence What you say is critical but when you say it can be a game-changer. Leaders must often speak, even when they don’t have a full picture. You don’t need to speak first to make an impact, but when you do it can take real courage. Bourla shared this in his filmed interview: “I was feeling the pressure of the hopes of so many billions of people… I was humanly worried, but to know it’s 90% positive… that gave me a joy I cannot describe.” Watch Albert Bourla’s game-changing interview – he comes in at the 1 min marker. What happened in 2020? 7. BARACK and MICHELLE OBAMA Both Michelle and Barack Obama won awards for their voices. Michelle’s a Grammy for best spoken word for her audiobook ‘Becoming’. Barack’s an outstanding voice in literature award from PEN America, for his memoir ‘A Promised Land’ which sold more than 1.7 m copies in its first week. The Obamas understand the power of their own voices, both opting to personally narrate their own audiobooks. Barack’s runs to 29 hours of narration. Michelle’s (just) 19 hours. ‘Becoming’ has spent seven months topping Audible’s chart. What the Obamas teach us about leadership, voice, and presence You don’t need to hold the top job to get people to listen to you. Your role doesn’t define you – your actions, your voice and your presence do. It’s five years since this couple occupied The White House yet both continue to confidently use their voices and remain in demand. People love to hear the human voice. Lockdown has intensified demand for the spoken word. Audiobooks and podcasts both surged in 2020. Speaking with confidence is critical to happiness and success. You may not start with the vocal confidence the Obamas project, but there are practical things you can do to make your voice more impactful. CONCLUSION I want to close this piece with two events that signal hope and optimism for 2021. Both are evidence that you can make an impact without saying a word. Following months of protests about the killing of George Floyd, a ‘far right’ protestor lay beaten on the ground at a demonstration. Black Lives Matter supporter, Patrick Hutchinson, stepped in – picking up the beaten protestor and carrying him to safety. The photo of his actions made a powerful statement. You’ll find it and Patrick’s subsequent message: "Anything that descends into violence, you lose the message" in GQ here. And, then there was New Zealand’s rugby team, the All Blacks, who did something unexpected before their game against Argentinian team, Los Pumas. Earlier that week Argentina had said goodbye to football legend, Diego Maradona. Before their traditional pre-match Haka, the All Blacks lay a rugby jersey bearing Maradona’s name and number on the halfway line. That gesture crossed countless invisible boundaries and moved millions. These silent acts, and the extraordinary efforts of humanity to combat Covid-19, are for me images of unity that I will draw on to navigate whatever ‘unprecedented’ events this year brings. Happy New Year.

COVID may be indiscriminate, but its economic fallout is not. The hardest hit? Those aged between 16-24. Our young people are still having their learning disrupted, their networking opportunities cut and their access to employment blocked. I’m very concerned about their mental health, which is why, somewhat serendipitously timed to coincide with International Volunteer Day tomorrow, I’m lending my own helping hand by running a free Winter School over the December break for students. Some of my amazing clients and partners are clearly concerned about the impact this climate is having on young people too and have lent a hand to help me recruit students for this school – a huge thank you to all of them for their support: Jacqui Dobson and Financial Times; Troy Asset Management, notably Gabrielle Boyle; Future Asset and Helen Bradley; the charity Girls Are Investors (GAIN); senior HR manager Joanna Comber; Dawn Jarvis at Alnylam; marketing strategist and coach Elodie Levasseur; TechWomen100 Champion Didem Un Ates; transformational people leader Denise Shillito; Baillie Gifford and Sunny Burwaiss; Claire Smith and Patricia Galloway at DVB Bank SE; Laura Whitcombe at 30% Club; Marice Cumber at Ravensbourne University London and their partner Accumulate; and to those who prefer anonymity. Also to my amazing Student Ambassadors - Emily Mason; Beth Thom; Edward Sheasby; Kirsty Mitchell; Naomi Oamen and Khalis Ariff who have helped shape and promote the Winter School. It’s uplifting to work with forward-thinking companies like these. But there’s a critical need for business to do more. We urgently need to reverse the rapid deterioration of our young people’s mental health who, instead of smoothly transitioning from education into the world of work, are being greeted by redundancy, unemployment, and the bleakest of prospects. “I went into the process with a really positive mindset,” says one student recently interviewed by The Guardian in its article, heartbreakingly headlined: ‘This could break a generation: UK’s unemployed young people tell of despair’. That same student continues: “But now the job hunt has become physically draining. It’s also affecting my mental health: the stress of running out of money, applying for benefits, and feeling unproductive.” I’m devastated when I read headlines that speak of our young people becoming a ‘lost generation’. Beyond the long-term and disastrous impacts we know this will have on them personally, we know business simply can’t afford to write off this young generation – its talent pipeline for securing continued growth and future success. I’m a long-time advocate for more diverse and inclusive business. My coaching specialism helps progress those who will change the senior leadership mix. While I’m often frustrated that D&I progress isn’t faster, I’m also encouraged that business increasingly recognises the benefits and blockers. My optimism is undoubtedly helped by the ongoing commitment to redress imbalance at the very top by the leading businesses I work with. That’s why I believe it’s critical that business urgently offers a much needed helping hand to our young people. Right now, they need to be firmly on the corporate D&I agenda so that when it comes to diversifying teams via recruitment, development and advancement, our young people are front of mind for inclusion. My coaching focus has always been with those nearing the top end of the career ladder but, for the first time this year, I’ve been coaching young people yet to begin their careers - the experience for me has been as profound as it has positive. For who needs the practical tools coaching makes available more than young people right now? Tools proven to help reduce anxiety, promote resilience, and improve mental health. Our young people not only need to be leaving education with technical skills, but with these essential soft skills businesses so desperately need in this unprecedented economic climate. While a pro-bono group-coaching school will benefit all those students who attend, sadly it isn’t enough to turn the tide more widely. My hope this volunteer day - and as we approach the giving season - is that others in business urgently find new ways to reach out to young people and lend, desperately needed, helping hands. Susan Room is a former corporate leader, turned coach. One of the rare few qualified to provide voice and executive coaching, her unique approach sees her help others feel, look and sound confident – improving performance and happiness. Her new virtual eight-hour Make Your Mark programme for students in higher education is based upon her Make Your Mark with Susan Room® coaching model which has proven a hit with many corporate clients including Baillie Gifford and the Financial Times. For more information about her Make Your Mark programmes visit: www.susanroom.com/make-your-mark #IVD2020 #TogetherWeCan

Later this month TEDWomen are putting on what looks set to be another fantastic speaker line up for their annual conference, which this year they’ve entitled ‘Fearless’. What a great theme. It can be tough feeling fearless at the best of times but in this volatile economic climate, far from fearless, many are perhaps more fearful than ever about work and job security. And that’s problematic for individuals and their employers because self-confidence is a crucial contributor to a person’s performance and prospects. So, as we enter a second round of lockdown and many workplaces revert to home working, I wanted to take this opportunity to share four top Make Your Mark tips for anyone feeling less confident than they might usually at work. 1. How you think. Focus on what you are doing right now. Dwelling on what’s happened or might happen prevents you being your best in this moment. Rather than sabotage an entire meeting because something hasn’t gone as planned, park your analysis until afterwards. Staying present, listening, and engaged will enable you to add value in your remaining time. 2. How you look. You may not feel fearless but there are tiny changes you can make to your body’s posture that will certainly help you look and feel more confident. Amy Cuddy is the absolute master of this. She shares some body language transformation hacks in her TED Talk ‘Your body language shapes who you are’. 3. What you say. The critical thing is you speak up. You don’t have to dominate a conversation but strive to find a place you can add value and then make your point as concisely as you can. This is particularly important on larger conference calls, where you can be invisible (even on video calls) if you remain quiet. 4. How you say it. Once you’ve seized the opportunity to speak, it’s not only what you say but how you say it that matters. A lower, slower vocal delivery can encourage your listener to be more reflective, while a faster pace and higher tone can create excitement. You want vocal variety and for your delivery to complement your message. My Speaking Secrets blog has more on this. How you think, how you look, what you say and how you say it underpin my coaching model and are the basis for my Make Your Mark with Susan Room® group voice and executive coaching programme. The programme has proven a hit with many organisations including Financial Times and Baillie Gifford. There’s also still time to ` register for TEDWomen which takes place on 12th November. Susan Room is a former corporate leader, turned coach. One of the rare few qualified to provide voice and executive coaching, her unique approach now sees her help others feel, look and sound confident – improving performance and happiness at work. www.susanroom.com

New: Make Your Mark with Susan Room® open summer school for students looking to secure their professional edge “What’s your biggest fear right now?” I ask. “Not being able to be the best I can be,” comes the reply. I could be in a coaching conversation with a mid-career professional but I’m not. Somewhat unusually, I’m chatting via Zoom with a group of young interns. What I hear has such a profound impact on me that I’m launching a new, open summer school programme as a result. So, if you know someone at university and want to help them be ‘the best they can be’ then please keep reading. I’m on Zoom, in conversation with these young people because my long-term client Baillie Gifford, a global responsible-investment firm, has asked me to run a slimmed down version of my Make Your Mark with Susan Room® programme for their summer interns. “All of my friends had their placements cancelled,” says Edward Sheasby, one of the interns who enters his fourth and final year studying Geography at St Andrews University this Autumn. “To get the call to say Baillie Gifford’s internship was going ahead, but virtually, was a massive relief. With so many people currently out of work, every last drop of employability is worth its weight in gold.” He’s right, with 649,000 fewer people employed now than when lockdown began, competition for jobs is going to be fiercer than ever. Internships and placements are increasingly the way into graduate jobs yet a recent report shows a fifth of students have lost those opportunities as a result of the pandemic. Perhaps unsurprisingly then, they’ve also lost confidence and nearly a third are worried they’ll struggle to get a job upon graduating. For more on Gen Z's response to the pandemic see the recent report 'The coronavirus continues: how are Gen Z responding now' by Trendence UK. “My last four years have been leading up to a moment that’s been abruptly cancelled due to Coronavirus,” explains Emily Mason, who enters her fifth year of studying chemical engineering at Heriot-Watt University in the Autumn. “Anyone can study from a textbook at home but I’m missing out on key aspects that define my whole course. For example, I’ve already had one key presentation completely cancelled and I’m supposed to be delivering a Dragons’ Den style one. The Dragons' Den is a highly regarded opportunity to make an impact on ‘real people’ from industry. Now I’ll probably be doing it virtually and only to my professor - that’s just not the same. It’s these types of interactions and opportunities with professionals that make the difference.” Yet pressure remains high and rising on young people to recoup the return on their educational investment, get the best grades, and be successful. Lockdown isolation and increased social media usage seem to be significantly adding to that pressure. As Khalis Ariff, an international student studying chemical engineering at Edinburgh University, explains: “It’s been hard to meet your friends and family in lockdown. I’ve spent time connecting on social media but I’m lacking the emotional support that I’m used to getting. It has been a difficult and demoralising time. Lots of international students went home but I got the offer from Baillie Gifford so I stayed in Edinburgh. Even though the internship was made virtual, it has been so much better than I expected. Susan’s sessions, which focused on our personal and social development, were particularly insightful.” Beth Thom who is half way through her degree in International Business Management at Heriot-Watt University adds: “We’re the first generation to experience growing up constantly in the public eye. You see everything on social media. It has become so easy and normal to compare ourselves to everyone else. There’s no off switch and it has such a detrimental effect on our mindset - how we think about ourselves. That’s why Susan’s Make Your Mark programme was such a welcome part of our internship. I’d never done anything like it before and it felt like a massive weight had been lifted after her mindset and inner critic session.” While there seems to be growing recognition that the pressures being felt by university students are having a detrimental impact on their mental health, the practical tools to help reduce their anxiety and promote resilience and self-care as they look to transition into the workplace seem sadly lacking. “I don’t know how to describe Susan’s Make Your Mark programme,” says Edward. “To call it ‘soft skills’ is really to dilute it. But these core skills she’s taught us and the practical tools she’s given us are totally nonexistent on the university scene - in a shameful way because they are so important to employability.” Adapting to Coronavirus has been tough for everyone but how we help our young people, our future business talent, navigate this unprecedented time (a time of seemingly shrinking graduate opportunities), is critical not only to them flourishing but to all of us - as professionals and as parents. That’s why, on the back of my fantastic experience with Baillie Gifford’s interns, I successfully piloted an open summer school and am now working with Beth, Emily, Khalis and Edward on how to make coaching accessible to more students. Watch this space. Meanwhile, you can read more about them and their experience of the programme in the case studies section of this site. Susan Room is a former corporate leader, turned coach. One of the rare few qualified to provide voice and executive coaching, her unique approach now sees her help others feel, look and sound confident – improving performance and happiness at work. Her new virtual eight-hour Make Your Mark programme for university students is based upon her Make Your Mark with Susan Room® coaching model which has proven a hit with many corporate clients including Baillie Gifford and the Financial Times. For more information about Make Your Mark with Susan Room® For Students visit: www.susanroom.com/make-your-mark-for-students

If you’ve never experienced coaching, it isn’t always easy to appreciate its power. Here are 10 benefits coaching can bring. 1. Clarity In today’s ‘always on’ world, we’re so busy delivering we often react rather than reflect on what’s important. Coaching creates the breathing space you need to think about you: your purpose, your priorities and the outcomes you want to achieve. “The best investment you can make is an investment in yourself. The more you learn the more you earn.” Investor and philanthropist, Warren Buffett 2. Confidence You’ll find a safe place to talk openly about issues, and overcome what’s holding you back, with a trusted partner who believes in you and encourages you to find your own answers to succeed. “A coach is someone that sees beyond your limits and guides you to greatness.” Former professional American basketball player, Michael Jordan 3. Insight Want different perspectives and insights that challenge you to think and act differently? A coach is a constructive thinking partner who encourages self-awareness, development and growth. “We cannot change what we are not aware of and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.” Business leader, activist, author and philanthropist, Sheryl Sandberg 4. Focus Be it external, organisational or personal, change is constant. You’ll not only know what you want to achieve, but how to achieve it. Your coach is there to help you find your personalised plan of action, navigate competing and changing priorities, hold you to account and keep you on track. “Always remember your focus determines your reality.” Filmmaker, philanthropist and entrepreneur, George Lucas 5. Relationships You’ll discover how to have great conversations that get you to the outcomes you want. Better understanding the needs, motivations and behaviours of others makes relating and results easier. “I can do things you cannot. You can do things I cannot. Together we can do great things.” The late Roman Catholic nun and missionary, Mother Teresa 6. Presence “When I walked into that room, I felt confident and in control.” That’s how a client once described a career-changing meeting following our time together. That’s executive presence – its empowering. “My presence speaks volumes before I say a word.” Rapper, singer, actor and activist, Mos Def 6. Authority You’ll find the words and ways to use your voice to sound more authentic, authoritative and credible. When you mean business, you need to convey confidence and get heard. "Women don’t need to find a voice, they have a voice, they need to feel empowered to use it and people need to be encouraged to listen.” Duchess of Sussex and American philanthropist, Meghan Markle 8. Capability You’ll increase your capabilities, which will boost your confidence. That becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more confident you are, the more you use new skills, the more capable you become. “If we all did the things we are capable of, we would truly astound ourselves.” The late inventor and businessman, Thomas Edison 9. Impact Your problem-solving, decision making, productivity and results will improve. You’ll enhance your personal brand, changing how others see and interact with you. This will positively impact you, your team and your organisation. “Executive coaching works. Coaching leads to a moderate-to-large amount of change in executives’ skills and/or performance.” Kenneth P. De Meuse and Guangrong Dai, Korn Ferry Institute in the 2010 report: The effectiveness of executive coaching 10. Opportunity By improving your confidence, performance and impact, you’ll create more opportunities for yourself – be it an expanded role, promotion, or role/career shift. “If you don’t create new opportunities within the confines of your ‘day job’ they may never come your way.” Organisational behaviour professor and author, Herminia Ibarra in her book: Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader Susan Room is one of the rare few qualified to provide voice and executive coaching, her unique blend of experience allows her to help others feel, look and sound confident – improving performance and happiness at work.

"Holding space" is something that’s much needed in business but, despite this catchy phrase being widely mentioned in recent weeks, the term itself seems too abstract to be helpful. Just close your eyes for a moment and try to visualise someone ‘holding space’. See what I mean? It’s too intangible, too difficult to visualise. And therein lies the problem. When we can’t clearly see something, it makes taking steps to deliver it less likely. That’s a real shame because, right now, driven by the Black Lives Matter movement, business professionals are acutely attuned to diversity and inclusion and asking what it is they can do to make a positive difference. And, a common response I’m hearing is that professionals should ‘hold space’. While that is absolutely what’s needed, what seems to be lacking is guidance about what ‘holding space’ involves, how you do it and why it’s important. Those are questions I hope to answer in this article. What does ‘holding space’ involve? For me, it involves creating the conditions for inclusive conversations – always – regardless of who is participating and what is being discussed. And recognising that you may have a diverse team, but that diversity does not guarantee inclusion. As Vernā Myers, Vice President, Inclusion Strategy at Netflix beautifully articulates: ‘Diversity is being invited to the party; inclusion is being asked to dance.’ Inclusion is what lies at the heart of ‘holding space’. It’s about creating an environment in which everyone can speak up and be heard. By doing this you are telling others: ‘You have a voice and your voice has value to me, to this team, to this business’. ”Holding space’ is all about communicating inclusively - in ways that encourage people to speak up, share their unique perspectives and, in the process, create better solutions and a strong sense of wellbeing and belonging.” Susan Room Three practical steps you can take to ‘hold space’ for others If you are convening or chairing a meeting, lay down some ground rules at the outset. For example, agree how you will handle who speaks when and how you will share the air time. Just talking about this upfront is powerful because it gets people thinking about their habits not least how much air time they tend to take up. It also gives those less inclined to speak an invitation to speak more, enabling people to work together so everyone has a chance to say what they want to. This next thing is perhaps easier in theory than it is in practice: avoid the habit of finishing other people’s sentences. It’s a common speech habit and happens for a variety of reasons – sometimes because we feel excited; sometimes because we feel impatient; sometimes because we think we know better… Whatever the reason, if you want to encourage others to speak up, hearing them out is a very effective way of showing respect. You are ‘holding space’ for them to finish their own sentences. Of course, when you finish someone’s sentence what you are actually doing is interrupting them. But interruption goes beyond finishing sentences. It extends to cutting in, changing the subject, or reactively voicing your concerns to something (you may think) you are hearing. Interrupting is often about loud voices and authority trumping good ideas and collaboration. There is a wealth of evidence that shows women are interrupted far more often than men. There is even the #WomanInterruptedApp that will listen into conversations and identify how often a woman is interrupted. Which reminds me, I will write a future post about how to manage interruptions. There may be times when there’s a genuine need politely and firmly to interrupt someone. An example (as outlined in point 1) is if they are hogging the air time. But, if you want to encourage others to speak up, being mindful of who and how often you interrupt is another way of showing deep respect for people, which makes them feel valued. The benefits of ‘holding space’ for others In the same way that we all have a unique thumb print, we all have a unique voice - literally and metaphorically. ‘Holding space’ is about enabling inclusive communications to flourish, encouraging everyone to speak up and offering the opportunity to hear another’s unique world view. When we assume everyone sees things from the same perspective, we deprive ourselves of the opportunity to deepen our understanding, forge stronger relationships and create better outcomes and solutions. As this research shows, the more perspectives we have, the more informed we are and the better our decision-making. And, in the same way Patrick Lencioni speaks about trust, the more perspectives we have, the more we understand where disagreement lies and the better we can deal with it constructively. Doing so leads to better accountability, which in turn leads to better results. Other research shows that inviting and appreciating other’s contributions creates a sense of psychological safety and improves productivity, profitability, innovation, work satisfaction and employee engagement and retention. When we make every effort to see, hear and acknowledge people, perhaps unsurprisingly, they feel valued and that makes them far more likely to stick around. Everybody has the right to speak up. Everybody has the right to be heard. And that speaks directly to equality. #BlackLivesMatter for me feels like a seminal moment. It illustrates the power of using your voice and having it heard. But the movement has also served to spark welcome new conversations about diversity and inclusion beyond the corporate arena. Every professional, every day, has the opportunity to create a working environment that celebrates diversity, invites inclusion and allows everyone to contribute and make a meaningful difference. As Daniel Danso, Global Diversity Manager at Linklaters rightly reminds us: “The most powerful message of inclusion comes from those not part of the group they champion.” Giving people the confidence to speak up, listening to them and valuing their unique perspectives and contributions by ‘holding space’ might just be one of the most powerful ways we have to break down the barriers to a more inclusive workplace – a workplace in which people flourish. Further reading: Vocal and Executive Presence: How It Can Help HR Leaders Improve Psychological Safety In The Workplace #holdingspace #diversity #inclusivity Read more about my Vocal and Executive Presence workshop for teams.

7%, 38%, 55%. These percentages are believed to be indicative of the relative importance of words (7%), tone of voice (38%) and facial expressions (55%) when you speak. It’s near-on half a century since Professor Albert Mehrabian published these findings. He was studying people's feelings and attitudes, then evaluating the inconsistencies between what they said and how their message came over. Today “7%, 38%, 55%” is often cited as a reminder that the words we use only represent a fraction of the message we convey. Yet Mehrabian's study was deeply flawed. Nevertheless, anyone who has attended my Make Your Mark programme will understand the interplay between words, tone of voice and facial expressions. In this business unusual environment though, many of us are remotely communicating with much of the non-verbal feedback we would normally get if we were together in a room hidden from view. Given how important this aspect is, I thought it would be helpful to share some tips on how to use your voice to its fullest potential – so you can be heard, even when you can’t be seen. Creating the conditions for success First impressions matter so it's worth investing some time to create an environment that will set you up for success, albeit everyone appreciates how hard that can be when working from home. This film clip of a live TV interview is testament to that and still makes me smile – but strive to create a quiet space that is distraction free. You want to be able to hear and be heard. If you aren’t speaking, it really helps the person who is if you mute your microphone. This will cut out any unhelpful background noise, which can drown out the speaker and make it challenging to hear - even for the most active listener! When you aren’t looking someone in the eye it’s easier to get distracted. If you look at the little green light (your camera) on your laptop you will be making great eye contact with those on your call. Not easy, but definitely worth a try because, as the Harvard Business Review reports, half those on conference calls are typically multitasking. That’s unfortunate particularly for the speaker, but it offers active listeners a real opportunity to stand out. If you’d like a reminder of how to be a better listener, take a look at my recent article here – it’s full of helpful tips and resources. Creating contributions that engage Time moves much faster when you talk than when you listen. When we speak it is often to share information about a topic within our expertise. It can be easy to fall into lengthy detail or use technical language. To hold people's attention, keep things simple and succinct. And to involve your listeners: invite chat and ask questions. If you are speaking to an international audience, or those listening in their second language, it’s even more important to keep your words simple, your sentences short and your pace measured. Many feel uncomfortable with silence in conversation but if you haven’t yet done so, I’d invite you to practice using pause. Pause can be powerful for two reasons. As a speaker it allows you to take a breath, collect your thoughts, or create dramatic effect. But it also gives your audience time to process what you are saying. Of course, when you are virtually communicating you won’t be seeing lots of the facial micro expressions you would if you were working in-person. To signal understanding, encourage listeners to nod, give thumbs up/down and, as Skipper the penguin would say: ‘smile and wave’. This helps everyone feel connected, not least the person leading the meeting. Research described in this further article in the Harvard Business Review shows how immediately after listening to someone talk, the average person only remembers about half. The clearer, more concise and engaging you can make your contributions, the greater impact you’ll make and the more likely your message will be remembered. Creating vocal impact When you can’t be seen, say on a phone call, how you deliver your message becomes even more important. When we can’t see someone, it is human nature to imagine the person behind the voice – particularly if you’ve never met them. When someone likes what they hear, they are more likely to engage. To avoid the ‘like/dislike’ conundrum, focus instead on making your voice more interesting. Aim for vocal variety. Switch up speed, pitch, intonation, loudness, and tone, not to the extent you would if you were reading a story to a child, but enough to capture and hold attention. I explore these five vocal elements in last month’s article here. Check it out for ways and watch outs to create vocal interest and impact. So, given the increasing reliance on voice in our business unusual environment, I wanted to close with my three top tips for keeping your voice tip top: 1. Certain foods, especially those that are spicy or contain dairy, are known to negatively impact the voice, so it can be worth avoiding or minimising these. 2. Certain drinks, like caffeine or alcohol, can be drying. To keep your voice hydrated sip plenty of water. 3. Working remotely isn’t for everyone. It can lead to unusually high levels of stress, constricting the larynx, which limits your voice. Releasing tension in your body will improve your speaking voice. One way to do that is to release your belly. This will allow you to breathe more deeply, oxygenate your brain better and lower voice pitch. Susan Room is a former corporate leader, turned coach. She was writing in support of World Voice Day on 16th April 2020 and the call to ‘focus on your voice’. One of the rare few qualified to provide voice and executive coaching, her unique blend of experience now sees her help others feel, look and sound confident – improving performance and happiness at work. www.susanroom.com #WorldVoiceDay #FocusOnYourVoice

Speeches have altered the course of history. The words themselves are important, of course, but to capture the imagination a great speech must go beyond ‘what you say’ to embrace ‘how you say it’. While very few speeches are momentous enough to alter the course of history, what you say and how you say it can determine the course of your life. So, as today is World Speech Day - designed to celebrate speeches, speechmaking and unexpected voices – I’m sharing some insights into what makes speeches stand out and why ‘how you say something’ is as important as ‘what you say ’. World Speech Day is celebrated in the UK on 16th March 2020 How you say something greatly determines whether others buy into your words. Research by respected social psychologist, Amy Cuddy, in her Harvard Business Review article ‘Connect, then lead’ shows we are quick to judge people, and that the decisions we make about them are based on two main characteristics. The first is how 'lovable' they are (their warmth and trustworthiness). The second is how 'fearsome' they are (their strength and competence). We make those judgments in a matter of moments when someone speaks. Your voice is unique to you. It’s as different to the next person’s as your fingerprints. But unlike your prints, which don’t alter, there are techniques you can use to change how you sound - and subsequently how others perceive you. How we perceive voice is determined by a blend of different elements. So, before you’ve ‘spilt’ any words from your lips, think about these five things and how you can use them to be more impactful. Speed The rate of your speech is important. Too fast and people may not understand you or miss key points. Too slow and they might switch off. It’s a delicate balance but varying your pace is a great way to keep people engaged because you will be more interesting to listen to. Pace can be used to great rhetorical effect. Martin Luther King’s ‘I Have A Dream’ speech began at 92 words per minute and ended at 145. And look what happened. Pitch Pitch conveys emotion. Too high and you may be considered less competent, trustworthy and capable. There’s credible research from Duke University that shows CEOs with deeper voices earn more money, manage bigger firms and enjoy longer tenures, and from Leiden University that lowering pitch may make you feel more powerful and think more abstractly. But beware: while lowering their voice pitch can make women sound authoritative, it can also result in their crossing the ‘aggression line’. There are two simple ways to find your natural, lower pitch. The first is humming and the second is to release tension in the body because tension causes the larynx (voice box) to rise, and, with it, pitch. Intonation Intonation is the musicality of the voice: the way it rises and falls (patterns of pitch). How you use intonation determines enormously how much others listen. Too monotone and they might switch off (because they're bored). Too much singsong and they might get irritated and tune out (unless, of course, you’re reading to a child). And at all costs avoid 'uptalking' – that’s when someone ends nearly every sentence with a question. 'Uptalking' suggests you are unsure of yourself and why would anyone believe what you say if you don’t? To convey confidence and certainty use falling intonation when finishing your sentences. Loudness If your voice is as quiet as a mouse you’ll be seen as one: under-confident and ready to scarper at the slightest noise. Speak too loudly though and you may be seen as aggressive. Neither works to your advantage. Yet, having coached quietly spoken and overly loud individuals, I know how hard it is to adjust speech volume. The key is to learn from others' reactions. And to ensure you're audible. Audibility is as much about vocal energy as it is about volume. By vocal energy I mean committing to your words and speaking them as if your voice were an arrow flying towards a bull’s eye. Whatever your volume, start and finish your utterances with equal commitment and energy. Tone As Anne Karpf tells us in her wonderful book ‘The Human Voice: the story of a remarkable talent’, ‘…the ear has a repertoire of between 300,000 and 400,000 distinguishable tones of voice.’ Tone of voice indicates your attitude to your words (as does pitch). Research suggests that “speakers can produce attitude changes in their listeners that outlast the moment and allow their message to have a long-term influence on listener behaviour.” Try it. Say the word ‘really’ in five different tones: sad, happy, surprised, disgusted, angry. Same word but, depending on the tone you pick, it will be received very differently. The takeaway? Use tone of voice wisely and creatively. Everybody’s voice is unique but not everybody’s voice gets heard. By finessing how you blend these five vocal elements, you’ll increase your ability to give a standout speech. That’s what results in more ‘unexpected voices’ being heard. And, if you want to see how some of the best standout speakers beautifully combine these five elements of voice, there’s no better place to look than at ‘The most popular 25 TED talks of all time’. Susan Room is a former corporate leader, turned coach. She was writing in support of #WorldSpeechDay and the call for more #UnexpectedVoices on 16th March 2020. One of the rare few qualified to provide voice and executive coaching, her unique approach now sees her help others feel, look and sound confident – improving performance and happiness at work. www.susanroom.com #unexpectedvoices #worldspeechday

Imagine this. You have a career-defining conversation with a senior stakeholder. Then you get their response: “I can’t buy into what you’re saying because I don’t think you have confidence in yourself.” This is the impact of letting that voice in your head undermine you. You know, the one that tells you: ‘You’re not good enough’ or ‘They’re going to find you out’. The result is you doubt yourself, which physically manifests in how you communicate. Because how you think affects how you say something. And, if others pick up signals that you don’t believe in you, then why would they? The example above happened to a recent client of mine – it’s why they needed my help. It’s called imposter syndrome - feeling fake, the fear of being ‘found out’ - and it’s something many I coach struggle with. For years we thought imposter syndrome was uniquely experienced by high-achieving women. This belief followed the publication, in 1978, of a seminal research paper ‘The imposter phenomenon in high-achieving women’ by psychologists Clance & Imes. But we now know that’s not the case. Having coached people from all levels in business I can confirm that imposter syndrome affects them irrespective of level and gender. Research today reinforces this. Clance herself subsequently published a later paper [1993], which showed the imposter phenomenon can impact anyone. Even hugely successful people: “I’ve sat on a lot of boards, I’ve been around some of the most important tables in the land, and let me tell you, there are a lot of people who don’t belong there. At first, I thought it was me who didn’t belong, but then I realised, nope, it’s not me, it’s that [person]... Nobody else can give you the self-confidence – only you can do that.” Michelle Obama on leadership, balance and battling imposter syndrome in Thailand Tatler by Melissa Twigg 31st January 2020 The fact that we all struggle, to some extent, at some point in our lives, with imposter syndrome brings us together this International Women’s Day. As does the 2020 hashtag, #EachforEqual and the IWD2020 campaign question: ‘What can we each do to help forge a gender equal world?’ My answer? Help each other overcome imposter syndrome. How? Building on #IWD2020 suggestions, here are five thoughts: 1. Show your support by striking the 'EachforEqual pose' in the knowledge that recent research suggests non-verbal displays of power can be an effective and efficient communication tool 2. Add the statement "I'll help all genders overcome imposter syndrome" to your #EachforEqual pledge wall 3. Encourage and facilitate conversations with friends and colleagues about how to overcome imposter syndrome 4. Share your imposter syndrome stories with all genders because, as American feminist, journalist and social political activist Gloria Steinem once said: "The story of women's struggle for equality belongs to no single feminist nor to any one organization but to the collective efforts of all who care about human rights." 5. Post your ‘hands out’ pose on social media because gestures promote understanding. Whatever you do, take action. Because waiting 108 years to close the gender gap is simply too long. Like achieving gender equality, booting out self-doubt takes time and effort. Taming that imposter is a significant first step. Susan Room is a former corporate leader, turned coach. One of the rare few qualified to provide voice and executive coaching, her unique blend of experience now sees her help others feel, look and sound confident – improving performance and happiness at work. Recommended Reading: The Imposter Cure: How to stop feeling like a fraud and escape the mind-trap of imposter syndrome by Dr Jessamy Hibberd

“Of course, you love coaching, you are a coach,” I hear you say. But I wasn’t always. And you don’t need to be a coach to benefit from or, as we’re celebrating Valentine’s, fall in love with coaching. My transition from a successful corporate career into coaching stemmed from my passion to give back. I wanted to pay forward the skills, experience and expertise I’d acquired to empower others to succeed. I know what coaching is capable of. It changed my life and it could change yours. But, if you’ve never experienced coaching, it isn’t always easy to appreciate its power. 1. Clarity In today’s ‘always on’ world, we’re so busy delivering, we often react rather than reflect on what’s important. Coaching creates the breathing space you need to think about you: your purpose, your priorities and the outcomes you want to achieve. “The best investment you can make is an investment in yourself. The more you learn the more you earn.” Investor and philanthropist, Warren Buffett 2. Confidence You’ll find a safe place to talk openly about issues, and overcome what’s holding you back, with a trusted partner who believes in you and encourages you to find your own answers to succeed. “A coach is someone that sees beyond your limits and guides you to greatness.” Former professional American basketball player, Michael Jordan 3. Insight Want different perspectives and insights that challenge you to think and act differently? A coach is a constructive thinking partner who encourages self-awareness, development and growth. “We cannot change what we are not aware of and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.” Business leader, activist, author and philanthropist, Sheryl Sandberg 4. Focus You’ll not only know what you want to achieve, but how to achieve it. Your coach is there to help you find your personalised plan of action, to hold you to account and keep you on track. “Always remember your focus determines your reality.” Filmmaker, philanthropist and entrepreneur, George Lucas 5. Relationships You’ll discover how to have great conversations that get you to the outcomes you want. Better understanding the needs, motivations and behaviours of others makes relating and results easier. “I can do things you cannot. You can do things I cannot. Together we can do great things.” The late Roman Catholic nun and missionary, Mother Teresa 6. Presence “When I walked into that room, I felt confident and in control.” That’s how a recent client described a career-changing meeting following our time together. That’s executive presence – it’s empowering. “My presence speaks volumes before I say a word.” Rapper, singer, actor and activist, Mos Def 7. Authority You’ll find the words and ways to use your voice to sound more authentic, authoritative and credible. When you mean business, you need to convey confidence and get heard. "A woman with a voice is, by definition, a strong woman. But the search to find that voice can be remarkably difficult." American philanthropist, Melinda Gates 8. Capability You’ll increase your capabilities, which will boost your confidence. That becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more confident you are, the more you use new skills, the more capable you become. “If we all did the things we are capable of, we would truly astound ourselves.” The late inventor and businessman, Thomas Edison 9. Impact Your problem solving, decision making, productivity and results will improve. You’ll enhance your personal brand, changing how others see and interact with you. That positively impacts you, your team and your organisation. “Executive coaching works. Coaching leads to a moderate-to-large amount of change in executives’ skills and/or performance.” Kenneth P. De Meuse and Guangrong Dai, Korn Ferry Institute In the 2010 report: The effectiveness of executive coaching 10. Opportunity By improving your confidence, performance and impact, you’ll create more opportunities for yourself – be it an expanded role, promotion, or role/career shift. “If you don’t create new opportunities within the confines of your ‘day job’ they may never come your way.” Organisational behaviour professor and author, Herminia Ibarra In Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader 11. Resilience Be it external, organisational or personal, change is constant. You need resilience and mental agility to adapt. Coaching helps you secure these skills, quicken transitions and ensure they go smoothly. “Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” The late revolutionary, leader & philanthropist, Nelson Mandela 12. Balance There’s always more work than time. Coaching helps you gain perspective, overcome overwhelm and prioritise for a better work/life balance. “I’d sabotage entire weekends if I had a big meeting looming. I’d think I couldn’t be the best I could be if I didn’t ruin my weekend preparing. My coach helped me see I could be my best but achieve it in a way that’s comfortable.” A senior leader I’ve recently coached 13. Happiness The upshot of having a great coach is that you’ll feel happier. And there’s no need to take my word for it. In her recent FT article ‘New Year, New You. The boom in executive coaching’, Emma Jacobs reports on how ‘studies show coaching improves health, wellbeing, work satisfaction, performance and self-regulation’. “The more difficult the victory, the greater the happiness in winning.” Retired professional footballer, Pelé 14. Coaching! And last but by no means least, coaching fosters a coaching culture. Those who experience coaching value its uniqueness. They are often keen to pay forward the techniques they acquire and advocate the benefits of finding a great coach. As one of the world’s most successful entrepreneurs says... “Everyone needs a coach. It doesn't matter whether you're a basketball player, a tennis player, a gymnast or a bridge player.” Co-founder of Microsoft Corporation and philanthropist, Bill Gates Susan Room is one of the rare few qualified to provide voice and executive coaching, her unique blend of experience now sees her help others feel, look and sound confident – improving performance and happiness at work. www.susanroom.com

Today’s the day we’re encouraged to talk about mental health. But here’s the thing: for that conversation to help, someone must listen. According to the Time to Change campaign, mental health problems affect one in four of us. That means 75% of us should be opening our ears - not our mouths - this ‘Time to Talk Day’. Yet many of us just aren’t very good at listening. Dick Lee and Delmar Hatesohl’s study ‘Listening: Our most used communications skill’ suggests that: ‘We spend around 80% of our waking hours communicating and 45% of that time listening’ reinforcing what other research has repeatedly shown: while we hear a lot, we listen a lot less. We also tend to forget. Authors Ralph Nichols and Leonard Stevens report in their seminal Harvard Business Review article ‘Listening to People’: ‘Immediately after listening to someone talk, the average person remembers about half… two months later that’s halved again to 25%.’ Point made. Listening costs nothing and brings huge benefits. In his fantastic TEDx Talk ‘The Power of Listening’, leading negotiation expert William Ury even suggests that ‘listening can revolutionise our world for the better - if only more of us would do it’. So why don’t we listen? It seems listening is not so much a forgotten skill as an untaught one. Madelyn Burley-Allen’s 1982 classroom study, ‘Listening: Are we teaching it, and if so, how?’, found time spent teaching students different communication styles was inversely related to the time they used them. ‘Students get 12 years formal writing training, 6-8 years in reading, 1-2 years in speaking, and less than half a year in listening’. Anecdotal evidence suggests that active listening is sadly lacking in schools and, without guided instruction, some, like University of Reading’s Suzanne Graham feel ‘it’s a skill that develops very slowly – if at all.’ [‘Research into practice: Listening strategies in an instructed classroom setting’.] The good news is that listening can be improved with the right guidance. So much of ‘what you say’ and ‘how you say it’ depends on what you listen to and for. Listening has the power to transform your communications and your career. That’s why ‘effective listening’ is a key part of my ‘Make Your Mark’ programme. For those who haven’t attended, here are some of my top tips to help you improve your listening skills: Look at the speaker, give them your full attention and stay quiet. Iterate their phrases to encourage them to expand their point(s). Show interest and clarify understanding by asking open questions. Tease out what’s glossed over or not said. Encourage them to talk by expressing your support. Now summarise & empathise without judging or offering solutions. It’s a basic human desire to be heard and understood. For me, it starts with opening our ears and listening, rather than opening our mouth and talking. This results in the ‘pay it forward’ mindset Ury describes when he says, in that great, previously mentioned, TEDx talk: ‘When someone listens to you, you are more likely to listen to someone else.’ Millions of conversations take place every day and, I wager, more talking goes on than listening. Yet it’s impossible to have a meaningful conversation when half of what’s needed is lacking (and when we’re wearing headphones). The team behind ‘Time to Talk Day’ has compiled a wealth of resources - ‘Tips for talking about mental health’ on their time-to-change.org.uk website. But, even if this topic feels daunting to you, make your next conversation today one where you listen, really listen. I promise that act alone will be good for your speaker’s mental health and yours. Susan Room is a former corporate leader, turned coach. One of the rare few qualified to provide voice and executive coaching, her unique blend of experience now sees her help others feel, look and sound confident – improving performance and happiness at work. #timetotalk