How to Communicate Better with ADHD-ers at Work
- Susan Room
- 1 day ago
- 4 min read
Coaching Neurodiverse Individuals And Teams
I recently completed a 3-month Neurodiversity in Coaching course.
It gave me a deeper understanding of the communication barriers neurodiverse colleagues face and taught me simple ways to encourage more open, productive conversations and better team dynamics - regardless of neurotype.
This post shares some key lessons I hope can help you have more productive, judgement-free conversations at work. Quick note: I’m still learning, and the more I learn, the more I realise how much I don’t know. If anything I’ve written is inaccurate or offensive, please let me know!
Neurodiversity In Coaching
Neurodiversity refers to the natural differences in how people’s brains work and how they think. Neurodiversity includes ADHD, autism, dyslexia, dyspraxia, and Tourette’s syndrome, all of which benefit from tailored coaching approaches to help individuals thrive at work.
As neurodiverse coaching psychologist Nancy Doyle explains:
"Just as biodiversity reflects the planet, neurodiversity means there are naturally occurring differences in human neurocognition (ways of thinking). Most people have neurotypical brains, but others have brains with distinct strengths and weaknesses, often called neurodivergent, neurodiverse, or neurodistinct (I prefer Doyle’s term 'neurofabulous'). Difference does not need 'fixing' - it should be celebrated and supported to foster independence and potential."
ADHD and Communication: Struggles and Solutions
"If only we could communicate better!"
This was how a client, we'll call her Sarah, started a recent session. She explained how she and her ADHD colleague, James, constantly misunderstood each other. The rest of the team also struggled to communicate with James, with some even excluding him from meetings.
James felt hurt, isolated, and defensive. Convinced his contributions weren’t valued, he stopped sharing his innovative ideas. When Sarah spoke to the team, they described James as a "bad listener" (he often asked for things to be repeated); "over-sensitive" (he misread tones); "rude" (he interrupted); and "weird" (he didn’t get jokes).
Having completed the course on coaching neurodiverse people, I was able to coach Sarah to understand three common communication challenges that people with ADHD or other forms of neurodiversity often face, and how to handle them...
1. Processing Overloads
Fast-paced conversations or meetings can overwhelm ADHD-ers, who might need a bit more time to process what’s being said. James isn’t a bad listener - he just processes information more slowly. To truly understand, he often asks people to repeat themselves, even though his inner critic is screaming, “Don’t! They’ll think you’re stupid!” Studies suggest that, by age ten, kids with ADHD have heard 20,000 more criticisms than their peers, so their inner critic can be brutal. (No wonder James might sometimes appear 'oversensitive!). While nodding along silently would be easier, James takes the risk of asking questions so he doesn’t miss anything important.
How to help ADHD-ers like James follow conversations better:
Create a distraction-free environment by cutting out background noise and interruptions.
Be patient, talk less, listen more, and pause to clarify or summarise key points. For example: “So, you’d prefer longer deadlines for reports. Is that right?”
Break information into smaller chunks and use visual aids like notes or diagrams.
2. Working Memory Struggles
Working memory helps us remember and follow directions long enough to get things done - like recalling names, keeping up with conversations, or managing multi-step tasks. ADHD-ers often struggle to juggle focus and memory at the same time. So, James isn’t being rude when he interrupts - it’s just that he needs to share an idea before he forgets it or wants clarification so he can stay on track.
Ways to strengthen working memory:
Use acronyms, visualise connections between ideas, and take advantage of tools like timers, alarms, or reminder apps.
Stick to clear routines and keep things organised.
Encourage movement during conversations - quick breaks to stretch or move around can make a big difference.
3. Ambiguous Language
Figurative speech, sarcasm, vague instructions, or non-verbal cues like body language and tone can be tricky for neurodivergent people to interpret and might lead to misjudgment from colleagues. For example, a 'flat' tone of voice - which is common even when a neurodivergent person is happy or excited - might be misunderstood as being rude or uninterested. These mix-ups can lead to unfair assumptions.
James would probably appreciate it if others:
Steered clear of sarcasm, jargon, idioms, figurative language or ambiguous phrases. For instance, instead of saying: “Let's catch up later,” try: “Let's meet at 3 PM to discuss next steps.”
Kept in mind that his tone doesn’t always reflect how he feels and be open to talking about tone of voice and how it can help or hinder communication.
Used 'Clean Language', avoided words that could negatively trigger him, and addressed him (correctly) by name, all of which can enhance communication with neurodivergent people.
Why Better Communication with Neurodivergent Colleagues Matters
Building a diverse and inclusive workplace isn’t just the right thing to do - it’s also good for business. With the right support, neurodiverse employees can bring incredible creativity, focus, and attention to detail, driving innovation and boosting the bottom line. Plus, inclusive companies see lower turnover and higher-performing teams.
But communication is a big part of creating an inclusive environment, and many neurodivergent individuals face challenges here.
According to the 2023 Neurodiversity at Work Survey, 64.7% of neurodivergent employees worry about stigma or discrimination when disclosing their condition, leaving many without the support they need.
While these employees bring incredible strengths, communication barriers can hold them back and impact their wellbeing.
Make Your Mark: Become a More Inclusive Communicator
That's where my Make Your Mark with Susan Room® workshops and coaching come in.
Designed to help teams bridge communication gaps with practical strategies and insights, they help create a workplace where everyone, no matter their neurotype, feels valued and understood.
Make Your Mark events not only improve team collaboration, creativity, and productivity but also help individuals feel more supported and appreciated and minimise drama triangles.
Currently available for corporate clients only, if you're an HR leader looking to create a workplace where diversity thrives and everyone can succeed, then please do get in touch.
The Business Voice Coach
References:
Clean Language - "An approach to interviewing and coaching that is about asking value - and assumption-free questions that stay very close [to the neurodivergent person's] experiences." Nancy Doyle.